Maureen Dowd hates Christmas...
and so do I.
I hate Christmas, the whole Christmas season
Now please don't ask why, I don't quite know the reason.
(Except maybe my pants are all three sizes too small.)
And I don't hate the Whos. In fact, my little Whos (one of whom is no more than two) are the ONLY thing that makes the whole shebang bearable.
On the other hand, I suppose if I hadn't given birth two weeks before Christmas - wait a minute! I gave birth to Jude two weeks before my husband's birthday, so it's really not fair, I have that Christmas pressure TWICE a year! Argh!- anyway, if Si's bday was not two weeks before Xmas things might be a wee bit calmer. My bad.
At this point in my (admittedly conflicted religiously) life, Christmas is just a bunch of consumerism (I HATE Walmart too but that is a post for another day) and pressure and a list as long as my arm to DO things. I'm pretty sure this is all just because my head isn't screwed on just right. But really, why hasn't anyone ever invented a holdiay in which we are required to DO NOTHING?
I hereby declare April 18 (my birthday incidentally) to be Slothful Day. Lie on your couch with a book or the remote, a Coke, and a bag of chips. You are REQUIRED to do this to be at all in the spirit. If you are out trimming the hedges or cutting grass or shopping for bargains or even contemplate sending Slothful Day cards or giving Slothful Day greetings or gifts of any kind whatsoever (including the bags of chips!), you will be taken out and shot immediately. Now this is a holiday I can get behind. As soon as I work up the energy....
posted by BabelBabe @ 10:30 AM
3 comments
3 Comments:
I'm not stressed either, despite sharing Val's dilemma of a kid's birthday being ten days before Christmas.
I agree with Suzanne as far as the reasons for the lack of tension: I'm broke, so I can't get wrapped up in the shopping (people will get what they get) and I don't watch much TV, so I don't know what I should be coveting (or how beautiful and thin I should be, which is another story).
And I think Slothful Day needs to come around more than once a year. I wouldn't be opposed to a weekly day of Nothing.
OK, my shopping was pared down (pretty much just for my kids which is fun, and gift certificates), I don't watch TV. Could it be...family? I think it must be. Suzanne, you get to hang out with who you want when you want. Gina, you actually like your family and might get a break from your kid. I go thru the yearly tussle of which holiday events I safely can ditch with the least uproar, and have to contend with crap like fucking Santa Claus showing up at my MIL's house on Christmas Eve. Simon suggested we host Christmas Day dinner at our house and serve pizza. I am all for it. How do you think it will play? : )
Funnily enough, Gina and I discussed recently how the people who really matter would find out you'd died. Would my husband know to call Gina and Lauren and Suzanne and several other important friends, or would they just find out months later somehow in the alumni magazine or by reading the obits? (Am I the only thirty-ish person who religiously reads the obits??? Strangely, I also read the engagement/wedding announcements and the real estate transactions, and if I can find them, the divorce and marriage licenses lists.)
It's probably a good thing I am married and so my death is my husband's responsibility, because my brothers would not have the foggiest what to do with me. I'd probably get parked at the morgue for months until someone efficient like my cousin Penny or my Aunt Joan came along, took charge, and arranged things.
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